Help wanted! I love those two words! To me they mean a mountain of possibilities. An adventure, if you will, into the unknown, a new chapter in my otherwise dull life......Where I will almost definitely, fall flat on my.......well.......you get the idea...........
So I am in search for work which as you know; is a job in itself. I am not sure who came up with that statement; but I am guessing it was someone...shall we say.......uummmm....stupid!?
If you think that looking for a job is a job in itself; let me clue you in on a couple of things. Now I know that one may or may not recall (depending on how long one has been unemployed) what a “job" is.
Let’s begin:
1) Jobs usually by definition PAY you (i.e marked by the reception of pay, involving gainful employment in something often done as a hobby, yielding a fair profit.
Now payments can come in many forms (i.e. stipends, material gains or profit)..... you get the idea. However what a "job" does NOT do is NOT pay you anything.Unless of course you are "working" to pass the time.
So while your out of work and looking for work....ummmmm?...Yup; NO ONE is paying you. Soooo?..........yup.......NOT a job.
2) Looking for a job is not like a job in that; if you don't show up for work no one fires you.
3) And this may go with number two as well: if no one cares that you have not showed up then the probabilities are high; that they wont care when you leave.... Yes; also a sign that this is NOT a job.
4) And finally…. and this should not even have to be said: If you have NO MONEY; that is a sign you don't have a job. And no, no amount of time you spend looking for a job; will ever make up for that fact.
I am sorry. I hate being right about this. Don't hate me because I am beautiful.........
I love all the “helpful tips" you get when looking for a job.....
"Don't look desperate"....Ummmmm but I am desperate?! How does one not look desperate? Let see………….
Interviewer: “So were looking to hire someone pretty much right away".
Me:” Oh..... That's nice. Good. Well....... give me a call if you want to. Or....... don't call. Either way. That's fine. Whatever you decide".
Yeah this employer will snatch you right up! NOT..........
I hate being right about this. I for one like someone who will beg (on command) if I ask them to. So as an interviewer/employer I am looking for that person; the desperate beggar. Think of about it. You as an employer continually have someone who is begging to: work late, come in early, run your errands, call your mom, walk your dogs and still begs you to do more.......Ummmm? yeah! Your hired!...........
I also hate it when people ask: are you a professional? A professional what? I asked someone this a long time ago and this is sort of how that conversation went.
" I think people ask you if you’re a professional because they want to know if you went beyond high school".....(Okay intriguing?)...
"Why?" I ask her.
She answers: "Well an employer wants to know if you will be someone "responsible" and are "committed" to something?...
To which I say, "Aha?...Well I have been committed to chocolate for the past....I don't know?........35 years? Is that what you mean?"
She answers, "Noooooo", now she is getting a bit irritated that I have cornered her into this “conversation”.
"Well what do you mean?" I ask her. I love to make people squirm.........hee hee......Oh face it! I wouldn't have anything to report back to you about otherwise!
She says: "Well they (employer) want to know that you have been "educated"; beyond a high school education. She adds, "You know. That you followed a course of study".
"Oh", I say flatly, "So let me see if I got this right", I continue, "In your world I have to be college "educated" in order to; be thought of as a "responsible" person”.
I continue, "Hmmmmm?.....Interesting"........and then I bust out laughing! I couldn’t help it. Don’t hate me.
She just stares at me with this kind of: "What the hell are you laughing at" kind of eyes. So she asks me just that……
My response to her: "Well it’s funny!! Your premise on why/why not people get hired”. I continue, “It is also funny that our current politicians are the epitome of what is wrong with your version of the so called "educated" people”.
“What do you mean?”, she asks annoyed.
“Education” I tell her, “ is not a guarantee that people are going to be "responsible", that they are going to be "intellectual" or even trustworthy”.
I go on,” And as far as “committed” goes I think you need to define your terms”. “I can be committed”, I continue, “ to robbing you blind, I can be committed to making your life hell”…..
She interrupts getting angrier by the minute, “Were talking about people in the workplace”. To which I answer: “So Am I!”…..
I began my cross examination, "Money my dear is the source you fail to mention; by all accounts the source which makes all these things possible”. ”And”, I continue a la Perry Mason, “Money is what MAKES people appear to be “responsible”; NOT their education”.
“Listen”, I tell her feeling sorry that she is within ear shot of my wrath, “All people will never be reliable, responsible and all the other bologna that you have been taught since school age”. I continue, “ But at least money will make people predictable”.
“So the more money you make the more predictable you are? How do you mean? She asks.
To which I say, “Presumably the more money you have/make the more you need/think you need it. Hence the odds that you will show up for work will be greater” I continue, “It does not mean that in your place on the ladder; you will be responsible/ committed”. I continue, “ It simply means that you are most likely to show up”........”Remember ENRON?........Hmmmmmmmm?.......
In case your wondering me and this person are still friends. And yes she has come over to my side a bit. I am proud to say!
So anyway…… Here is a better definition and one that I can least live with:
This comes to us today from "walterncool" from Yahoo answers (okay so it's not exactly the library of Congress; but for today's purposes it will do).
And to make this a more meaningful read; place the words “we the people” where it reads “employer”.
"Being professional means fulfilling responsibilities and taking heat. Any employee, no matter what the job, has a contractual obligation to the employer to fulfill the requirements of his or her job description while giving the employer's interests high priority". "Beyond that, working professionally generally means holding to more formal standards of performance and ethics than you might in your personal life. Conform to professional and/or industry standards in doing your job. Do it skillfully and well. Don't pursue personal agendas at the company's expense. Work hard; play fair. Represent your employer, your fellow workers, and yourself with dignity. Give the client and employer more than their money's worth".
I like this answer. Clear and it makes my point. You work; you are a professional. The more power you have the more responsibility you owe. Just ask Spider Man.
Adios!
In the Garden of Dreams/En un Jardín de Sueños
Take time to see the unseen/Tome tiempo para observar lo oculto
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Exorcise
......So I am supposed to be on my way to a healthier me. Apparently the current me is not so well. Yes I confess I could stand to loose a "few" pounds. The problem: I don't want to “stand” while doing it! Mine is not a world of the "Iron Man"; my world is more of the "Recycled Aluminum Gal". My motto for running: “Do it only when chased”.
So I started "running". Perhaps the term "running" here being stretched to its literary limits. Anyway I started my attempt at movement several weeks ago. However I had to stop; given the fact that I developed pneumonia. Now I am not saying that it was the running things fault; but it sure as hell didn't help! I mean it was 20 degrees out and I was sweating like a pudding at a picnic. Then I would come home and sit in front of the fan to "cool off". Perhaps not the most brilliant move? But hey at least I wasn't standing outside with any clothes on!...........Yes a little story………..
.......My mom (don't tell her I told you this) went to school with the nuns at an all girls school in Madrid, Spain. She hated it. So when she would come home on the weekends (during the cold season) she would take really cold showers. After the showers she would stand wet/naked by an open window! Much to her dismay however she said: “ Damn it! I never got sick!” Nuns will do that to ya!.........
So here I am the daughter of the "Bionic Chica" (unable to get sick while standing naked in front of a window during winter); getting sick while sitting (dressed) in front of a fan! I am a disgrace to the world of exercise. And to the all Bionic Chicas everywhere!
So now I have been home NOT running and getting flabbier by the minute. When your in your teens you can stop eating for a few hours and loose weight. When your in your forties you can stop eating for a few years and NOTHING. And when you’re in your 50’s, 60’s and 70’s you may as well face it: the lardage has won!
So I started "running". Perhaps the term "running" here being stretched to its literary limits. Anyway I started my attempt at movement several weeks ago. However I had to stop; given the fact that I developed pneumonia. Now I am not saying that it was the running things fault; but it sure as hell didn't help! I mean it was 20 degrees out and I was sweating like a pudding at a picnic. Then I would come home and sit in front of the fan to "cool off". Perhaps not the most brilliant move? But hey at least I wasn't standing outside with any clothes on!...........Yes a little story………..
.......My mom (don't tell her I told you this) went to school with the nuns at an all girls school in Madrid, Spain. She hated it. So when she would come home on the weekends (during the cold season) she would take really cold showers. After the showers she would stand wet/naked by an open window! Much to her dismay however she said: “ Damn it! I never got sick!” Nuns will do that to ya!.........
So here I am the daughter of the "Bionic Chica" (unable to get sick while standing naked in front of a window during winter); getting sick while sitting (dressed) in front of a fan! I am a disgrace to the world of exercise. And to the all Bionic Chicas everywhere!
So now I have been home NOT running and getting flabbier by the minute. When your in your teens you can stop eating for a few hours and loose weight. When your in your forties you can stop eating for a few years and NOTHING. And when you’re in your 50’s, 60’s and 70’s you may as well face it: the lardage has won!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
MERRY HOLIDAYS
Feliz Navidad and Merry Holidays Friends!
I am sorry I have not written for a bit(or a bite)get it? Anyway......life tends to get in the way. Does that ever happen to you? You WANNA do something but that darn life thing gets in the way. So today I stopped and got off the life train; long enough to wish you all a happy and safe holiday!!!!
Speaking of "holiday"......I never know what to say to people during this time of year. If I say Merry Christmas to the "wrong" person I may be violating his/her civil rights. On the other hand if I don't say Merry Christmas to the "right" person; then I may be perceived as a crazy liberal!!!! Oh no not that!!!!.............
Here is my take on all of this: We need to care and respect every one's beliefs. We learn from everyone a bit of culture and in the end; we may end up enriching our own lives. And that is how I see it. That is my confession for the Christmas season............
Though I must confess (again), that in talking to my friend who is of the Jewish faith; I think I want to "enrich" my life with some of her traditions..........Like the gift thing that keep on coming for 8 days in a row!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah! Jewish children receive gifts for Hanukkah – often one gift for each of the eight nights of the holiday. ........And eating Chinese food and watching movies on Christmas day........ Chinese food having something to do with the fact that they are the ONLY restaurants opens on Christmas! hee hee (;
Of course there are many, many more meaningful lesson to learn from other cultures than what I have stated above (duh). But you can’t deny that it is true; food brings people together! So find what brings you together and give thanks!
I have to tell you this that has been on my tiny mind lately.......Okay wake up!
You know those dorky happy faces that people put at the end of a sentence (like the one I used at the top there)..........Well here is an exclusive peek to my brilliant mind; for free………Let’s face it; if it wasn’t free you wouldn’t be looking………
....So I would get these emails from colleagues, and at the end of their sentences were these odd dorky looking symbols?
“Yet another part of the English language that I have not been privy to”, I thought. “How I wish I could have gone to Harvard or Yale”, I continued, “Or at least taken a good English class!”
I must begin by telling you that the fact that I received these symbols from very educated people; made me feel even more out of the loop than usual. As someone who speaks two languages I always feel that; I don't know exactly all there is to know about either language.
So I chucked it off as: "Oh well I can't know everything", but still I thought, "Wow how stupid I am in matters of writing", and I would sigh.
"I can't ever ask what (the symbol) that is/means; I will sound totally illiterate!".
At this point in my life I sounded half illiterate; but if I actually asked the question??….. You get the idea.... What is that expression?....."It is better to be thought a fool than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt"......Yeah that seems like good advice.........
So for years I never knew what the hell that (: thing was!!!!! It mocked me whenever I read an email!!!!!! "That damn symbol!", I thought, "What the hell does it mean!!!!!!!!!?".........
So being the ever clever chica that I am; I asked one of my students. Yes people when in doubt ask a child!
So I tried to sound as grown up/professional as possible; using as much ambiguity as I could possible pack.
“I was wondering Carmen,(not her real name), if you could add more of “those” on your page”, I said staring at her hands.
Carmen looks up at me with an “okay she is really gone now” look. So she asks, “What”?
“Ummm those things”, as I point to the screen.
Carmen asks again, “You mean more words?”……
”Oh dear Lord” I am thinking, “Do I sound as stupid as I feel?”…..I laugh nervously, “No silly”, I say pointing to the “symbols”, “Those things”.
Carmen in a very sweet matter of fact voice asks: "The happy faces?”.
“Yeeees the happy faaaa......What? I ask completely dumbfounded.
She repeats it slowly like a parrot mocking me, “Haaaappyyyy Faaaaaceeees?” Carmen continues as she sees the strange look on my face, "Seeeeeee its side ways?" she smiles as she tries to comprehend why on earth; is she explaining this to me?
Then I say, "Ah, ooooh yes! So it is!?"........
Confession: I did not see any damn happy face. I am sorry maybe after a few cocktails in me……… it may begin to look like something…….. But looking at this thing sober, with the lights on, in the middle of the day…….. no can do........
So Carmen ever the sweet gal she is; guides me through it. Yes people someone has to guide me through; what amounts to a part of a parenthesis and a colon!.......
She continues, "Look you just hit shift and then you hit it again over here", she looks at me like she is waiting for some kind of sign; that I actually understand the English language. She also looks over my head; maybe to make sure none of my neurons are on fire? Or it could have been my hair that day; it's hard to say.
So finally I say: "Oh I get it now!", I continue, "Yes I do see it! Watta ya know about that?? (Don't answer)..........
So then Carmen continues to tell me and show me all the different variations to it. Wow! I felt like a real pro. I felt like a part of Americana or LatinaAmericana or something "cana"………..
The one day a friend sends me this:
:>)
Okay I know when I have been defeated.........I give up!!!!!!
Merry Holidays! (; C: :>)
I am sorry I have not written for a bit(or a bite)get it? Anyway......life tends to get in the way. Does that ever happen to you? You WANNA do something but that darn life thing gets in the way. So today I stopped and got off the life train; long enough to wish you all a happy and safe holiday!!!!
Speaking of "holiday"......I never know what to say to people during this time of year. If I say Merry Christmas to the "wrong" person I may be violating his/her civil rights. On the other hand if I don't say Merry Christmas to the "right" person; then I may be perceived as a crazy liberal!!!! Oh no not that!!!!.............
Here is my take on all of this: We need to care and respect every one's beliefs. We learn from everyone a bit of culture and in the end; we may end up enriching our own lives. And that is how I see it. That is my confession for the Christmas season............
Though I must confess (again), that in talking to my friend who is of the Jewish faith; I think I want to "enrich" my life with some of her traditions..........Like the gift thing that keep on coming for 8 days in a row!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah! Jewish children receive gifts for Hanukkah – often one gift for each of the eight nights of the holiday. ........And eating Chinese food and watching movies on Christmas day........ Chinese food having something to do with the fact that they are the ONLY restaurants opens on Christmas! hee hee (;
Of course there are many, many more meaningful lesson to learn from other cultures than what I have stated above (duh). But you can’t deny that it is true; food brings people together! So find what brings you together and give thanks!
I have to tell you this that has been on my tiny mind lately.......Okay wake up!
You know those dorky happy faces that people put at the end of a sentence (like the one I used at the top there)..........Well here is an exclusive peek to my brilliant mind; for free………Let’s face it; if it wasn’t free you wouldn’t be looking………
....So I would get these emails from colleagues, and at the end of their sentences were these odd dorky looking symbols?
“Yet another part of the English language that I have not been privy to”, I thought. “How I wish I could have gone to Harvard or Yale”, I continued, “Or at least taken a good English class!”
I must begin by telling you that the fact that I received these symbols from very educated people; made me feel even more out of the loop than usual. As someone who speaks two languages I always feel that; I don't know exactly all there is to know about either language.
So I chucked it off as: "Oh well I can't know everything", but still I thought, "Wow how stupid I am in matters of writing", and I would sigh.
"I can't ever ask what (the symbol) that is/means; I will sound totally illiterate!".
At this point in my life I sounded half illiterate; but if I actually asked the question??….. You get the idea.... What is that expression?....."It is better to be thought a fool than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt"......Yeah that seems like good advice.........
So for years I never knew what the hell that (: thing was!!!!! It mocked me whenever I read an email!!!!!! "That damn symbol!", I thought, "What the hell does it mean!!!!!!!!!?".........
So being the ever clever chica that I am; I asked one of my students. Yes people when in doubt ask a child!
So I tried to sound as grown up/professional as possible; using as much ambiguity as I could possible pack.
“I was wondering Carmen,(not her real name), if you could add more of “those” on your page”, I said staring at her hands.
Carmen looks up at me with an “okay she is really gone now” look. So she asks, “What”?
“Ummm those things”, as I point to the screen.
Carmen asks again, “You mean more words?”……
”Oh dear Lord” I am thinking, “Do I sound as stupid as I feel?”…..I laugh nervously, “No silly”, I say pointing to the “symbols”, “Those things”.
Carmen in a very sweet matter of fact voice asks: "The happy faces?”.
“Yeeees the happy faaaa......What? I ask completely dumbfounded.
She repeats it slowly like a parrot mocking me, “Haaaappyyyy Faaaaaceeees?” Carmen continues as she sees the strange look on my face, "Seeeeeee its side ways?" she smiles as she tries to comprehend why on earth; is she explaining this to me?
Then I say, "Ah, ooooh yes! So it is!?"........
Confession: I did not see any damn happy face. I am sorry maybe after a few cocktails in me……… it may begin to look like something…….. But looking at this thing sober, with the lights on, in the middle of the day…….. no can do........
So Carmen ever the sweet gal she is; guides me through it. Yes people someone has to guide me through; what amounts to a part of a parenthesis and a colon!.......
She continues, "Look you just hit shift and then you hit it again over here", she looks at me like she is waiting for some kind of sign; that I actually understand the English language. She also looks over my head; maybe to make sure none of my neurons are on fire? Or it could have been my hair that day; it's hard to say.
So finally I say: "Oh I get it now!", I continue, "Yes I do see it! Watta ya know about that?? (Don't answer)..........
So then Carmen continues to tell me and show me all the different variations to it. Wow! I felt like a real pro. I felt like a part of Americana or LatinaAmericana or something "cana"………..
The one day a friend sends me this:
:>)
Okay I know when I have been defeated.........I give up!!!!!!
Merry Holidays! (; C: :>)
BACK........
You know what I have discovered recently? That if you need glasses and your typing in the dark........a different language is created..........Did you know that?..So hello becomes gello; last week becomes "astr weel" "ans so on".......So yeah I will be getting glasses soon..... Speaking of glasses on of the characters in my book has glasses; made out of molasses.......More about that as my book develops......I am sure you are all on pins and needles...........ha ha
As newbie to this Blog business I was looking on the net to see who had the best blog ( I need all the help I can get lets face it) . So it turns out that this person named: Marc Andreesen has like THE best blog; so I go on to look for his blog....... And .....wait for it.....nothing was there. I get to his page and it would not come up on my screen?!......
The perfect metaphor for my life: I finally get somewhere and NO ONE is there. In the words of Gertrude Stein: "There is no there, there". So true so true. I don't know what that means to you but to me it means: "Be happy where you are". Simple to the point......
So I went out and made an impulse purchase today; you know the kind that is supposed to make you feel better?....Till you get home and look at your checking balance? Well it was good while it lasted; right? Though let's face it most of our purchases ARE impulses. Do you ever say to yourself as you leave the store: "All I came for was a can of tuna for my cat".......Ahhhhhhh the stores you gotta love them?....
Have you ever noticed that there are no clocks in the stores? Hmmmm? I can't imagine why that is?.......No one should care about the outside world while they are there.......This is the Disney World for you wallet......The Lost City of Gold........mainly your own..... And these stores know exactly where to place this stuff so you can't pass it up.
I saw this show once (so you know its true) that told you the why/where of all the store tricks. Basically if you want the "cheap" stuff/clothes (after the usual 2000% mark up); you gotta go to the back of the store. Think of this as your cardio for the day.......
If you are at a grocery store however all the rules change....The cheap groceries will not be at your eye level nor will they be in the back. The grocery stores know that were all too lazy/too much of a hurry/toot tall to bend over to look for stuff? There is a joke in there somewhere……..Stop it!
And of course all the “impulse” stuff (or all the stuff we end up leaving the store with)is found at eye level. Things like: "Grow Hair Fast kit", "Teach your Dog Math" you get the idea ..........
You'll like this. I have to confess that I can remember thinking (as a young teenage "fashionista" )while visiting the clothing stores : "Oh my gosh this store will so go under unless it stops selling things so cheap". True story.... I can also remember a man on TV feeding my fears by also saying: "At these prices were giving stuff away"....What can I say I was young.......
I also remember shopping at a store called the "ID"; though I don't believe any of us who shopped there; knew exactly what the "ID" meant. I just can't see teen age girls with big hair, tons of make up and Madonna like outfits saying to each other: "...So yeah Tiffany: “The Id is the unconscious by definition;In Freud's formulation: "It is the dark, inaccessible part of our personality”........
Sorry, I just don't see that as ever happening...........
So what does this all mean? I don’t know I just this write this stuff for your amusement. But I guess if it were up to me; I would just want a store called: "It's all in the Back". Then I know I am getting a deal!......Oh stop it!
As newbie to this Blog business I was looking on the net to see who had the best blog ( I need all the help I can get lets face it) . So it turns out that this person named: Marc Andreesen has like THE best blog; so I go on to look for his blog....... And .....wait for it.....nothing was there. I get to his page and it would not come up on my screen?!......
The perfect metaphor for my life: I finally get somewhere and NO ONE is there. In the words of Gertrude Stein: "There is no there, there". So true so true. I don't know what that means to you but to me it means: "Be happy where you are". Simple to the point......
So I went out and made an impulse purchase today; you know the kind that is supposed to make you feel better?....Till you get home and look at your checking balance? Well it was good while it lasted; right? Though let's face it most of our purchases ARE impulses. Do you ever say to yourself as you leave the store: "All I came for was a can of tuna for my cat".......Ahhhhhhh the stores you gotta love them?....
Have you ever noticed that there are no clocks in the stores? Hmmmm? I can't imagine why that is?.......No one should care about the outside world while they are there.......This is the Disney World for you wallet......The Lost City of Gold........mainly your own..... And these stores know exactly where to place this stuff so you can't pass it up.
I saw this show once (so you know its true) that told you the why/where of all the store tricks. Basically if you want the "cheap" stuff/clothes (after the usual 2000% mark up); you gotta go to the back of the store. Think of this as your cardio for the day.......
If you are at a grocery store however all the rules change....The cheap groceries will not be at your eye level nor will they be in the back. The grocery stores know that were all too lazy/too much of a hurry/toot tall to bend over to look for stuff? There is a joke in there somewhere……..Stop it!
And of course all the “impulse” stuff (or all the stuff we end up leaving the store with)is found at eye level. Things like: "Grow Hair Fast kit", "Teach your Dog Math" you get the idea ..........
You'll like this. I have to confess that I can remember thinking (as a young teenage "fashionista" )while visiting the clothing stores : "Oh my gosh this store will so go under unless it stops selling things so cheap". True story.... I can also remember a man on TV feeding my fears by also saying: "At these prices were giving stuff away"....What can I say I was young.......
I also remember shopping at a store called the "ID"; though I don't believe any of us who shopped there; knew exactly what the "ID" meant. I just can't see teen age girls with big hair, tons of make up and Madonna like outfits saying to each other: "...So yeah Tiffany: “The Id is the unconscious by definition;In Freud's formulation: "It is the dark, inaccessible part of our personality”........
Sorry, I just don't see that as ever happening...........
So what does this all mean? I don’t know I just this write this stuff for your amusement. But I guess if it were up to me; I would just want a store called: "It's all in the Back". Then I know I am getting a deal!......Oh stop it!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
FOR JOB SEEKERS
Try this I just received. You can make money while having your resume posted. I have not tried it yet!
try Resumark.com!
Adios
Caro
try Resumark.com!
Adios
Caro
Friday, October 23, 2009
Happy Go Lucky........
...So what is the deal with all these organizing supplies, people, companies? Have you looked at a magazine lately that does not have all these ads in it? Apparently you and I very unorganized and we MUST get ourselves organized otherwise chaos will soon follow......Now I have a few comments about this (really hear me out). If you ARE unorganized then how would you know it? I mean really. You have lived you life up till now being who you are: unorganized, happy go lucky (where did that phrase come from and what does that mean?). If your lucky then your happy? Duh! No kidding. I have never met an unlucky happy person who is happy go lucky about it...... At least not before a few rounds of tequila anyway!.....Is lucky the person's name? "Hey there goes Happy Go-Lucky"! So Go- Lucky is his/her last name?............ And how about the words from Jack and the Knife? And how about those awful lullabies: "...the cradle will fall; down goes the baby cradle and all"? Who wrote this stuff Fellini?.......Oh it's an allegory?........Yeah sure....My theories on allegories goes like this: "This crap makes no sense at all", "I know let's call it an allegory!".........
So anyway I was picking up my son from school and to pass the time I was looking through some magazines.....Okay wait I have to tell you this.....How long has it been since someone told you: "To pass the time I was" i.e. whatever. No one uses that phrase anymore. Think about when was the last time you used it?....... Hmmm?........ You can't remember can you?..... My theory is (Si, I have a lot of them): "If you can't think of when you last said "to pass the time I did".... then you really need to let time pass.
We are all in this constant hurry all the time. For what? Mostly to hurry up and wait! And everything in our society is set up to tell us that: "If your not in a hurry you must not be living a very fulfilling life". I know people (yes I know people; I am part of very exclusive club) who think they are so important because they are soooooo bz. Well I hate to be the one to tell you folks (actually I don't rally hate it).... Busy and important are NOT the same thing. Just like annoying and interesting are not the same thing...Get the idea here?........
The sales industry know this (the fact that we have to all feel important) and feed on it! So men/women have come up with these fantastic products to make our lives "better/make us feel important". Let's see (too much to choose from here) there is the: fast food industry and their faster = better slogans... "If ya can't get it under a minute will give your money back". First of all (I don't know about you)but unless your saving lives for a living; you can take sometime to eat. Trust me. My life is not that interesting/in that much chaos (I don't know about yours); that I can't take 30 minutes or more to sit down and consume food. I would say that if you are in that much of continual crisis; seeking professional help may not be too far away....
And the computerized gadgets. Have you seen these commercials? "Get the new xR920 you can text, fax, copy, twitter, tell time under water, keep up on your soaps, water your plants and much more while you drive to work!".........Okay I must say this before I continue: Do not talk on your cell phone while your driving! Much less fax or water plants! Anytime I see a car swerving on the road; I don't think "drunk" I think "cellphone moron"! And........Yup there they are babbling on the phone...... And they try to look so important too. Guy in suit: "Yea Charlie sure I will get those boxer shorts you like. Yeah the loose ones I know"... Woman in suit: "Yeah Carla? Did you hear about Tom's impotence problem?"...........
I love the adds on cable that have all these crazy gadgets like: "Snuffles" the Kleenex you don't throw away! or Super sponge: you can wash your car and use it as a contraceptive aid!..... And the prices are always $19.99?.........
So what is my conclusion to all this? Glad you asked. Next time your at a restaurant tell the waiter to take his/her time. Tell the chef that you will gladly wait to get a wonderful meal. Tell the "Super Quick" clerk to slow down and make "Burger Heaven" kid take more than a few minutes to cook your burger......You would like it cooked this time! If no one around you slows down its up to us to set the pace! And this how I see it........
Back to my original thought (not sure how original it is but here it is anyway)......So okay were unorganized what of it? What is it that I am supposed to get organized for anyway? To keep up appearances? To make my house look different than it really is; for when other people come over? What? I mean short of not being on the "Hoarder's show" (by the way whenever I watch that show I have to throw something out); I think were okay.
So as I looked through this magazine (the one that is telling me that I have to be more organized); I see pictures of women who I guess are supposed to inspire me to get organized. I also notice that these women are rich and so they can afford to; spend time "organizing"...... I am sorry but I have a real life with a real family a real job and real problems. Getting organized is not at the top of my list. Ya know?.......So the woman is standing by her "specially" made closet and says: "Oh yes I hired a contractor to turn my bathroom into a closet". I thought me too! And I didn't even have to hire anyone! I hide a bunch of crap below the bathroom sink and in the linen closet...wait for it........I hide a bunch of stuff too not related to linen! ....I also use my towel racks to dry stuff on! Wow! I am part of the beautiful people and didn't even know it!............
Then the other women on the next page says: "I have to wear suits all the time (she is probably the one on the cell phone); so I color code them and put them in this closet. I then use the other closet ( inside my Victorian home) for all my sweaters"....... Me too! What are the odds?......I use every nook and cranny of my tiny apartment to stuff things in. So I guess I won. I was able to use up the most space. Ha!
As I turn the page I have to laugh out loud...... But before I tell you that I have to confess something, that's right; remember Confessions of Wise Latina? You knew what you were getting into to......... So I have this habit of talking to myself in the car, which wouldn't be so bad; but I do it out loud and answer myself as well. That's right. Remember what I said before about the people for whom mental help was not to far off. Yup. This is how I know! I am one of them......Wake up! Stay with me!........
In my car I have held meetings with President Obama, Carter; interviewed great witters, movie people you name it. Recently I interviewed Michael Moore. What's that? Yes it went very well; were having coffee next week...........So I mentioned I do this out loud right? I am like that that one channel that tells you to "live out loud"....... Except that I am not a movie star and no one gives a rat's behind about what I have to say/do in my car........ And oh yeah there no cameras filming my every move..... But really I used to be so involved talking to myself.......I mean interviewing famous people....That I would forget that others (by others I mean whom ever is outside of my car); can see me........ Since my car is not a limo, I don't have tinted windows. I must confess (you knew this was coming) sometimes I wish I did have tinted windows. You know when I am eating a huge piece of chocolate anything, have no make up on, my hair is dirty (really dirty) ......... Well you get the idea..............I am sure that's why celebrities have them too....Yes my fantasy life at work again............
So anyway thanks to the technical age and technical community at large; I can now talk to myself and it looks like I am talking on a speaker phone!.... Ha!.... Its so cool........ Don't tell anyone. This is one of the one of the few things that I love about technology....... I can lie better!..............
So I turn the page to see this guy (always a guy) sitting watching television (what an original photo); he is surrounded by water. Apparently his roof has collapsed and water is gushing down on him; but he still smiles...... Why? Because he knows his wife/girlfriend/significant other will pick up the mess; that's why. In every relationship there is someone who does the dumping and another who does the picking up. Always. Right?.........But I laughed not so much because of the "obvious" picture but because the ad was depicting someone who was happy; due to the fact that he had homeowners insurance ......This must be that stupid: "Happy Go-Lucky guy"......We found him! Yes!................
So what is my take on organizing? Just this: Start small and think of what really drives you crazy about your habits. Example:
Problem: Every morning your looking for the keys making you late for work.
Solution: Place keys where you can find them; when you get home.
Problem: You are late for work because you cant find what to wear.
Solution: Set your clothes out the day before.
You are laughing but to make real change happen; we must start with small steps (remember the "Journey of a Thousand Miles" thing?)........I am not sure who exactly walks/walked a thousand miles (I mean besides the folks in the Iron Man/Person thing). But I digress....... Change that we make slowly; stays with us forever. Just look at our legislators.......ooops......
The above mentioned "problem" scenarios are/were my husband and what he has learned (from me) in the past 15 years!.......That's right people this is how we do it......It takes over a decade but damn it we CAN change!
Until next time and more confessions! Take care!
So anyway I was picking up my son from school and to pass the time I was looking through some magazines.....Okay wait I have to tell you this.....How long has it been since someone told you: "To pass the time I was" i.e. whatever. No one uses that phrase anymore. Think about when was the last time you used it?....... Hmmm?........ You can't remember can you?..... My theory is (Si, I have a lot of them): "If you can't think of when you last said "to pass the time I did".... then you really need to let time pass.
We are all in this constant hurry all the time. For what? Mostly to hurry up and wait! And everything in our society is set up to tell us that: "If your not in a hurry you must not be living a very fulfilling life". I know people (yes I know people; I am part of very exclusive club) who think they are so important because they are soooooo bz. Well I hate to be the one to tell you folks (actually I don't rally hate it).... Busy and important are NOT the same thing. Just like annoying and interesting are not the same thing...Get the idea here?........
The sales industry know this (the fact that we have to all feel important) and feed on it! So men/women have come up with these fantastic products to make our lives "better/make us feel important". Let's see (too much to choose from here) there is the: fast food industry and their faster = better slogans... "If ya can't get it under a minute will give your money back". First of all (I don't know about you)but unless your saving lives for a living; you can take sometime to eat. Trust me. My life is not that interesting/in that much chaos (I don't know about yours); that I can't take 30 minutes or more to sit down and consume food. I would say that if you are in that much of continual crisis; seeking professional help may not be too far away....
And the computerized gadgets. Have you seen these commercials? "Get the new xR920 you can text, fax, copy, twitter, tell time under water, keep up on your soaps, water your plants and much more while you drive to work!".........Okay I must say this before I continue: Do not talk on your cell phone while your driving! Much less fax or water plants! Anytime I see a car swerving on the road; I don't think "drunk" I think "cellphone moron"! And........Yup there they are babbling on the phone...... And they try to look so important too. Guy in suit: "Yea Charlie sure I will get those boxer shorts you like. Yeah the loose ones I know"... Woman in suit: "Yeah Carla? Did you hear about Tom's impotence problem?"...........
I love the adds on cable that have all these crazy gadgets like: "Snuffles" the Kleenex you don't throw away! or Super sponge: you can wash your car and use it as a contraceptive aid!..... And the prices are always $19.99?.........
So what is my conclusion to all this? Glad you asked. Next time your at a restaurant tell the waiter to take his/her time. Tell the chef that you will gladly wait to get a wonderful meal. Tell the "Super Quick" clerk to slow down and make "Burger Heaven" kid take more than a few minutes to cook your burger......You would like it cooked this time! If no one around you slows down its up to us to set the pace! And this how I see it........
Back to my original thought (not sure how original it is but here it is anyway)......So okay were unorganized what of it? What is it that I am supposed to get organized for anyway? To keep up appearances? To make my house look different than it really is; for when other people come over? What? I mean short of not being on the "Hoarder's show" (by the way whenever I watch that show I have to throw something out); I think were okay.
So as I looked through this magazine (the one that is telling me that I have to be more organized); I see pictures of women who I guess are supposed to inspire me to get organized. I also notice that these women are rich and so they can afford to; spend time "organizing"...... I am sorry but I have a real life with a real family a real job and real problems. Getting organized is not at the top of my list. Ya know?.......So the woman is standing by her "specially" made closet and says: "Oh yes I hired a contractor to turn my bathroom into a closet". I thought me too! And I didn't even have to hire anyone! I hide a bunch of crap below the bathroom sink and in the linen closet...wait for it........I hide a bunch of stuff too not related to linen! ....I also use my towel racks to dry stuff on! Wow! I am part of the beautiful people and didn't even know it!............
Then the other women on the next page says: "I have to wear suits all the time (she is probably the one on the cell phone); so I color code them and put them in this closet. I then use the other closet ( inside my Victorian home) for all my sweaters"....... Me too! What are the odds?......I use every nook and cranny of my tiny apartment to stuff things in. So I guess I won. I was able to use up the most space. Ha!
As I turn the page I have to laugh out loud...... But before I tell you that I have to confess something, that's right; remember Confessions of Wise Latina? You knew what you were getting into to......... So I have this habit of talking to myself in the car, which wouldn't be so bad; but I do it out loud and answer myself as well. That's right. Remember what I said before about the people for whom mental help was not to far off. Yup. This is how I know! I am one of them......Wake up! Stay with me!........
In my car I have held meetings with President Obama, Carter; interviewed great witters, movie people you name it. Recently I interviewed Michael Moore. What's that? Yes it went very well; were having coffee next week...........So I mentioned I do this out loud right? I am like that that one channel that tells you to "live out loud"....... Except that I am not a movie star and no one gives a rat's behind about what I have to say/do in my car........ And oh yeah there no cameras filming my every move..... But really I used to be so involved talking to myself.......I mean interviewing famous people....That I would forget that others (by others I mean whom ever is outside of my car); can see me........ Since my car is not a limo, I don't have tinted windows. I must confess (you knew this was coming) sometimes I wish I did have tinted windows. You know when I am eating a huge piece of chocolate anything, have no make up on, my hair is dirty (really dirty) ......... Well you get the idea..............I am sure that's why celebrities have them too....Yes my fantasy life at work again............
So anyway thanks to the technical age and technical community at large; I can now talk to myself and it looks like I am talking on a speaker phone!.... Ha!.... Its so cool........ Don't tell anyone. This is one of the one of the few things that I love about technology....... I can lie better!..............
So I turn the page to see this guy (always a guy) sitting watching television (what an original photo); he is surrounded by water. Apparently his roof has collapsed and water is gushing down on him; but he still smiles...... Why? Because he knows his wife/girlfriend/significant other will pick up the mess; that's why. In every relationship there is someone who does the dumping and another who does the picking up. Always. Right?.........But I laughed not so much because of the "obvious" picture but because the ad was depicting someone who was happy; due to the fact that he had homeowners insurance ......This must be that stupid: "Happy Go-Lucky guy"......We found him! Yes!................
So what is my take on organizing? Just this: Start small and think of what really drives you crazy about your habits. Example:
Problem: Every morning your looking for the keys making you late for work.
Solution: Place keys where you can find them; when you get home.
Problem: You are late for work because you cant find what to wear.
Solution: Set your clothes out the day before.
You are laughing but to make real change happen; we must start with small steps (remember the "Journey of a Thousand Miles" thing?)........I am not sure who exactly walks/walked a thousand miles (I mean besides the folks in the Iron Man/Person thing). But I digress....... Change that we make slowly; stays with us forever. Just look at our legislators.......ooops......
The above mentioned "problem" scenarios are/were my husband and what he has learned (from me) in the past 15 years!.......That's right people this is how we do it......It takes over a decade but damn it we CAN change!
Until next time and more confessions! Take care!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
WOMAN SCOUT
.and yesterday I was running my morning errands; well "running" is a bit dramatic here......But anyway, it was a cold rainy morning the kind that reminds you that winter is just around the corner; and about to bite you in the….Well you get the idea .......As I make my way down town (an I use the term "downtown” loosely) as I live in a small town; population 600 and 3 cats.
"Downtown" consists of 2 blocks; but it is a very cute two blocks. I remember when my husband first brought me here. I fell in love with this little story book like town. It seems that every street is filled with huge trees and pretty little houses. My favorite time around here is Christmas. I love the way the lights glisten in the snow…..Okay, okay, enough of this cute stuff….This story is hard core!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!
So I am driving along listening to an old Ricky Martin CD (oh yeah I am real hip). I am pausing for laughter………………Done?.........Okay……..so I see a very old and frail lady. This lady is walking (by walking I mean some movement can be detected); as she holds a pile of books toward her chest. I am thinking it’s raining, it’s cold; and this poor woman is walking through these streets alone. The horror! So having gone to a private catholic school and being the good Samaritan that I am; I have to stop and help. It is my belief that offering help; is the price you pay for guilt. Trust me.
However not having belonged to any Girls Scout’s group; my methods are shall we say, a bit "unorthodox". I park and leave my car (still running); so that it blocks traffic down an alley. “Who would need to go down this alley? I say to myself. “It’s so small”. Yes folks this is my reasoning. Really. One can see why I am not in the running for city planner. Plus I say to myself: “the “traffic” around here during “rush” hour is about 8-9 cars on the road.... and I don’t think it’s even an hour”………Ahhhhh yes, the sweet sense of the senseless…….
Actually I have to tell you this first: When my family and I first moved here (from the “big” city); we were shocked by all the silence. To learn that the place where we had moved to deliberately; shuts down at 9p.m. is a huge shock ! Oh yeah…….. 9p.m………….
Well I guess I should clarify (in case the town mayor is reading this); everything shuts down but the "Kwiky Mart". “Kwiky Mart” is the name we have given it. My son used to watch countless hours of “The Simpson”; and you can guess the rest.
So as you can see my life is very glamorous. At any time of the day or night I can get a slushy, ice, pizza ..........And at a moments notice I can jet out to Duluth; and be back in time for dinner....Aaaaaaaaaaah the high life…..Don’t hate me because I am one of the beautiful people……..
So getting back to my story (and to earth). I get out of my car and in true “Good Samaritan” fashion I run behind this old lady and yell: “Excuse me do you need some help?” Now as a side note here: It is common knowledge that all old ladies are deaf; something about their ear drums shrinking”. It’s true I read this somewhere (Tales of the Crypt Monthly)….
I wait in anticipation for this sweet old lady to look into my eyes and thank me for my heroic deed. As she looks up at me with her gray eyes and sad little face, she says flatly: "No". ………And there you have it folks “Angels at work”!!!!!!!!!!!!.....This is how you do it people; so take note.
As I excuse myself and turn around feeling as though I have been slapped across the face; I hear a distant chatter. It’s the little old lady; she is talking to me. Actually it seems as though she has been carrying on a conversation all along; but I digress. This is what I was able to detect: ……. “So I was one of the first women to set up a missionary home in Africa!". At least that is what I think she said? She also goes on to tell me that she was a teacher for 53 years! That she lived in Hawaii for a time and did all kinds of things to help others. So I ask her what kind of teacher she was and she says: "I am a sister"!......... What are the odds?.......
As it turns out I stood outside talking to her(the little old lady) in the freezing cold; for what seemed like an eternity.........It reminded of a sitcom where I am trying to get out of a conversation but can't. So I kept waiting for a break, a pause, the taking in of breath, a cough…. something!!!........But nothing….nothing happened.......
By this time it had stopped raining a bit; I considered it a sign to get while the getting was good! So I am thinking of a way to extricate myself from these proceedings; in a nice way so that I can still make my mom proud.........
So I say:"Well I got to get going it was nice to meet you". She says: "Yeeeeees....anyway when I was in Chicago........I try again: "Okay then; I have to get going my car has been running all this time!". She says: "Oh my!"........"and anyway".........I try then to become part of the conversation; you know if you can’t beat them? So I say: "So Sister how was it th?...........She interrupts: "Listen! Listen! "So I was”.................
I sigh to myself and think: “Well this is it”. This is the spot where I will have to pitch a tent; and live my remaining years…..Will my son come visit? Would I still be able to get “Meals on Wheels” without a real address (“What’s that?... Yeah I live in the corner of Washington Street and 5th….literally… Yes). What would my tombstone say I wondered? ……..”Here lies a good soul…….there is one born every minute” …...
So far I am thinking; this good Samaritan stuff sucks!!!!!!.....So I try again: “Well"........and then I see it!........ My beacon of hope, my salvation!.... A grumpy bus driver has started to honk her horn at my car! As you may or may not know; honking at an empty car will make it move. It’s true I read it somewhere; so you know it’s true.
“YES!” I shout to myself, “Thank the good Lord above for public transportation!”...........Who knew the way to end a conversation with a nun; was to annoy the hell out of a bus driver???............There is a mixed metaphor in there somewhere?............
Truth be told I did like to listen to the old ladies’ stories; she has lived much and helped many. I realized that she must have felt very lonely and needed to talk; so listening was the least I could do. I would do it again......
We don't take time anymore to really listen to others; I am guilty of this as well. Our society has become very “me” conscious….. And this always reminds me of the old joke: "So enough about me; "what do you think about me?”…….
Till another tale! Take care!
Friday, October 2, 2009
HELP WANTED
Help wanted! I love those two words! To me they mean a mountain of possibilities. An adventure, if you will, into the unknown, a new chapter in my otherwise dull life......Where I will almost definitely, fall flat on my.......well.......you get the idea...........
So I am in search for work which as you know; is a job in itself. I am not sure who came up with that statement; but I am guessing it was someone...shall we say.......uummmm....stupid!?
If you think that looking for a job is a job in itself; let me clue you in on a couple of things. Now I know that one may or may not recall (depending on how long one has been unemployed) what a “job is. Let’s begin:
1) jobs usually by definition PAY you something. Now payments can come in many forms i.e. food, money, shelter you get the idea. However what a "job" does not do is NOT pay you. So while your out of work and looking for work....ummmmm...Yup; NO ONE is paying you...
2) Looking for a job is not like a job in that; if you don't show up for work no one fires you.
3) And this may go with number two as well: if no one cares that you have not showed up then the probabilities; are high that they wont care when you leave.... Yes; also a sign that this is NOT a job.
4) And finally…. and this should not even have to be said: If you have NO MONEY; that is a sign you don't have a job. And no, no amount of time you spend looking for a job; will ever make up for that fact.
I am sorry. I hate being right. Don't hate me because I am beautiful.........
I love all the “helpful tips" you get when looking for a job.....
"Don't look desperate"....Ummmmm but I am desperate?! How does one not look desperate? Let see………….
Interviewer: “So were looking to hire someone pretty much right away".
Me:” Oh..... That's nice. Good. Well....... give me a call if you want to. Or....... don't call. Either way. That's fine. Whatever you decide".
Yeah this employer will snatch you right up! NOT..........
I hate being right about this. I for one like someone who will beg (on command) if I ask them to. So as an interviewer/employer I am looking for that person; the desperate beggar. Think of about it. You as an employer continually have someone who is begging to: work late, come in early, run your errands, call your mom, walk your dogs and still begs you to do more.......Ummmm? yeah! Your hired!...........
I also hate it when people ask: are you a professional? A professional what? I asked someone this a long time ago and this is sort of how that conversation went.
" I think people as you if you’re a professional because they want to know if you went beyond high school".....(Okay intriguing)...Why? I ask her. She answers: "Well an employer wants to know if you will be someone "responsible" and are "committed" to something?...
(Aha?)....... "Well I have been committed to chocolate for the past....I don't know?........35 years? Is that what you mean? She answers: "Noooooo", she responds getting a bit irritated that I have cornered her into this “conversation”. "Well what do you mean?" I ask her. I love to make people squirm.........hee hee......
She says: "Well they (employer) want to know that you have been "educated"; beyond a high school education. You know." she adds, "That you followed a course of study". "Oh" I say flatly.
"So let me see if I got this right. In your world" I say, " I have to be "educated" from college and go beyond high school; in order to be thought of as a "responsible" person”.
I continue, "Hmmmmm?.....Interesting"........and then I bust out laughing! I couldn’t help it. Don’t hate me.
She just stares at me with this kind of: "What the hell are you laughing at" kind of eyes. So she asks me just that……
My response to her: "Well it’s funny!! Your premise on why/why not people get hired”. I continue, “It is also funny that our current politicians are the epitome of what is wrong with your version of the so called "educated" people”.
“What do you mean?”, she asks annoyed.
“Education” I tell her, “ is not a guarantee that people are going to be "responsible", that they are going to be "intellectual" or even trustworthy”.
I go on,” and as far as “committed” goes I think you need to define your terms”. “I can be committed”, I continue, “ to robbing you blind, I can be committed to making your life hell”…..
She interrupts getting angrier by the minute, “Were talking about people in the workplace”. To which I answer: “So Am I!”…..
I began my cross examination, "Money my dear is the source you fail to mention; by all accounts the source which makes all these things possible”. ”And”, I continue a la Perry Mason, “Money is what MAKES people appear to be “responsible”; NOT their education”.
“Listen”, I tell her feeling sorry that she is within ear shot of my wrath, “All people will never be reliable, responsible and all the other bologna that you have been taught since school age”. I continue, “ But at least money will make people predictable”.
“So the more money you make the more predictable you are? How do you mean? She asks.
To which I say, “Presumably the more money you have/make the more you need/think you need it. Hence the odds that you will show up for work will be greater” I continue, “It does not mean that in your place on the ladder; you will be responsible/ committed”. I continue, “ It simply means that you are most likely to show up”........”Remember ENRON?........Hmmmmmmmm?.......
In case your wondering me and this person are still friends. And yes she has come over to my side a bit. I am proud to say!
So anyway…… Here is a better definition and one that I can least live with:
This comes to us today from "walterncool" from Yahoo answers (okay so it's not exactly the library of Congress; but for today's purposes it will do).
And to make this a more meaningful read; place the words “we the people” where it reads “employer”.
"Being professional means fulfilling responsibilities and taking heat. Any employee, no matter what the job, has a contractual obligation to the employer to fulfill the requirements of his or her job description while giving the employer's interests high priority". "Beyond that, working professionally generally means holding to more formal standards of performance and ethics than you might in your personal life. Conform to professional and/or industry standards in doing your job. Do it skillfully and well. Don't pursue personal agendas at the company's expense. Work hard; play fair. Represent your employer, your fellow workers, and yourself with dignity. Give the client and employer more than their money's worth".
I like this answer. Clear and it makes my point. You work; you are a professional. The more power you have the more responsibility you owe. Just ask Spider Man.
Adios!
So I am in search for work which as you know; is a job in itself. I am not sure who came up with that statement; but I am guessing it was someone...shall we say.......uummmm....stupid!?
If you think that looking for a job is a job in itself; let me clue you in on a couple of things. Now I know that one may or may not recall (depending on how long one has been unemployed) what a “job is. Let’s begin:
1) jobs usually by definition PAY you something. Now payments can come in many forms i.e. food, money, shelter you get the idea. However what a "job" does not do is NOT pay you. So while your out of work and looking for work....ummmmm...Yup; NO ONE is paying you...
2) Looking for a job is not like a job in that; if you don't show up for work no one fires you.
3) And this may go with number two as well: if no one cares that you have not showed up then the probabilities; are high that they wont care when you leave.... Yes; also a sign that this is NOT a job.
4) And finally…. and this should not even have to be said: If you have NO MONEY; that is a sign you don't have a job. And no, no amount of time you spend looking for a job; will ever make up for that fact.
I am sorry. I hate being right. Don't hate me because I am beautiful.........
I love all the “helpful tips" you get when looking for a job.....
"Don't look desperate"....Ummmmm but I am desperate?! How does one not look desperate? Let see………….
Interviewer: “So were looking to hire someone pretty much right away".
Me:” Oh..... That's nice. Good. Well....... give me a call if you want to. Or....... don't call. Either way. That's fine. Whatever you decide".
Yeah this employer will snatch you right up! NOT..........
I hate being right about this. I for one like someone who will beg (on command) if I ask them to. So as an interviewer/employer I am looking for that person; the desperate beggar. Think of about it. You as an employer continually have someone who is begging to: work late, come in early, run your errands, call your mom, walk your dogs and still begs you to do more.......Ummmm? yeah! Your hired!...........
I also hate it when people ask: are you a professional? A professional what? I asked someone this a long time ago and this is sort of how that conversation went.
" I think people as you if you’re a professional because they want to know if you went beyond high school".....(Okay intriguing)...Why? I ask her. She answers: "Well an employer wants to know if you will be someone "responsible" and are "committed" to something?...
(Aha?)....... "Well I have been committed to chocolate for the past....I don't know?........35 years? Is that what you mean? She answers: "Noooooo", she responds getting a bit irritated that I have cornered her into this “conversation”. "Well what do you mean?" I ask her. I love to make people squirm.........hee hee......
She says: "Well they (employer) want to know that you have been "educated"; beyond a high school education. You know." she adds, "That you followed a course of study". "Oh" I say flatly.
"So let me see if I got this right. In your world" I say, " I have to be "educated" from college and go beyond high school; in order to be thought of as a "responsible" person”.
I continue, "Hmmmmm?.....Interesting"........and then I bust out laughing! I couldn’t help it. Don’t hate me.
She just stares at me with this kind of: "What the hell are you laughing at" kind of eyes. So she asks me just that……
My response to her: "Well it’s funny!! Your premise on why/why not people get hired”. I continue, “It is also funny that our current politicians are the epitome of what is wrong with your version of the so called "educated" people”.
“What do you mean?”, she asks annoyed.
“Education” I tell her, “ is not a guarantee that people are going to be "responsible", that they are going to be "intellectual" or even trustworthy”.
I go on,” and as far as “committed” goes I think you need to define your terms”. “I can be committed”, I continue, “ to robbing you blind, I can be committed to making your life hell”…..
She interrupts getting angrier by the minute, “Were talking about people in the workplace”. To which I answer: “So Am I!”…..
I began my cross examination, "Money my dear is the source you fail to mention; by all accounts the source which makes all these things possible”. ”And”, I continue a la Perry Mason, “Money is what MAKES people appear to be “responsible”; NOT their education”.
“Listen”, I tell her feeling sorry that she is within ear shot of my wrath, “All people will never be reliable, responsible and all the other bologna that you have been taught since school age”. I continue, “ But at least money will make people predictable”.
“So the more money you make the more predictable you are? How do you mean? She asks.
To which I say, “Presumably the more money you have/make the more you need/think you need it. Hence the odds that you will show up for work will be greater” I continue, “It does not mean that in your place on the ladder; you will be responsible/ committed”. I continue, “ It simply means that you are most likely to show up”........”Remember ENRON?........Hmmmmmmmm?.......
In case your wondering me and this person are still friends. And yes she has come over to my side a bit. I am proud to say!
So anyway…… Here is a better definition and one that I can least live with:
This comes to us today from "walterncool" from Yahoo answers (okay so it's not exactly the library of Congress; but for today's purposes it will do).
And to make this a more meaningful read; place the words “we the people” where it reads “employer”.
"Being professional means fulfilling responsibilities and taking heat. Any employee, no matter what the job, has a contractual obligation to the employer to fulfill the requirements of his or her job description while giving the employer's interests high priority". "Beyond that, working professionally generally means holding to more formal standards of performance and ethics than you might in your personal life. Conform to professional and/or industry standards in doing your job. Do it skillfully and well. Don't pursue personal agendas at the company's expense. Work hard; play fair. Represent your employer, your fellow workers, and yourself with dignity. Give the client and employer more than their money's worth".
I like this answer. Clear and it makes my point. You work; you are a professional. The more power you have the more responsibility you owe. Just ask Spider Man.
Adios!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)