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Confesions of a Wise Latina: Happy Go Lucky........

Confesions of a Wise Latina: Happy Go Lucky........

Happy Go Lucky........

...So what is the deal with all these organizing supplies, people, companies? Have you looked at a magazine lately that does not have all these ads in it? Apparently you and I very unorganized and we MUST get ourselves organized otherwise chaos will soon follow......Now I have a few comments about this (really hear me out). If you ARE unorganized then how would you know it? I mean really. You have lived you life up till now being who you are: unorganized, happy go lucky (where did that phrase come from and what does that mean?). If your lucky then your happy? Duh! No kidding. I have never met an unlucky happy person who is happy go lucky about it...... At least not before a few rounds of tequila anyway!.....Is lucky the person's name? "Hey there goes Happy Go-Lucky"! So Go- Lucky is his/her last name?............ And how about the words from Jack and the Knife? And how about those awful lullabies: "...the cradle will fall; down goes the baby cradle and all"? Who wrote this stuff Fellini?.......Oh it's an allegory?........Yeah sure....My theories on allegories goes like this: "This crap makes no sense at all", "I know let's call it an allegory!".........

So anyway I was picking up my son from school and to pass the time I was looking through some magazines.....Okay wait I have to tell you this.....How long has it been since someone told you: "To pass the time I was" i.e. whatever. No one uses that phrase anymore. Think about when was the last time you used it?....... Hmmm?........ You can't remember can you?..... My theory is (Si, I have a lot of them): "If you can't think of when you last said "to pass the time I did".... then you really need to let time pass.

We are all in this constant hurry all the time. For what? Mostly to hurry up and wait! And everything in our society is set up to tell us that: "If your not in a hurry you must not be living a very fulfilling life". I know people (yes I know people; I am part of very exclusive club) who think they are so important because they are soooooo bz. Well I hate to be the one to tell you folks (actually I don't rally hate it).... Busy and important are NOT the same thing. Just like annoying and interesting are not the same thing...Get the idea here?........

The sales industry know this (the fact that we have to all feel important) and feed on it! So men/women have come up with these fantastic products to make our lives "better/make us feel important". Let's see (too much to choose from here) there is the: fast food industry and their faster = better slogans... "If ya can't get it under a minute will give your money back". First of all (I don't know about you)but unless your saving lives for a living; you can take sometime to eat. Trust me. My life is not that interesting/in that much chaos (I don't know about yours); that I can't take 30 minutes or more to sit down and consume food. I would say that if you are in that much of continual crisis; seeking professional help may not be too far away....

And the computerized gadgets. Have you seen these commercials? "Get the new xR920 you can text, fax, copy, twitter, tell time under water, keep up on your soaps, water your plants and much more while you drive to work!".........Okay I must say this before I continue: Do not talk on your cell phone while your driving! Much less fax or water plants! Anytime I see a car swerving on the road; I don't think "drunk" I think "cellphone moron"! And........Yup there they are babbling on the phone...... And they try to look so important too. Guy in suit: "Yea Charlie sure I will get those boxer shorts you like. Yeah the loose ones I know"... Woman in suit: "Yeah Carla? Did you hear about Tom's impotence problem?"...........

I love the adds on cable that have all these crazy gadgets like: "Snuffles" the Kleenex you don't throw away! or Super sponge: you can wash your car and use it as a contraceptive aid!..... And the prices are always $19.99?.........

So what is my conclusion to all this? Glad you asked. Next time your at a restaurant tell the waiter to take his/her time. Tell the chef that you will gladly wait to get a wonderful meal. Tell the "Super Quick" clerk to slow down and make "Burger Heaven" kid take more than a few minutes to cook your burger......You would like it cooked this time! If no one around you slows down its up to us to set the pace! And this how I see it........

Back to my original thought (not sure how original it is but here it is anyway)......So okay were unorganized what of it? What is it that I am supposed to get organized for anyway? To keep up appearances? To make my house look different than it really is; for when other people come over? What? I mean short of not being on the "Hoarder's show" (by the way whenever I watch that show I have to throw something out); I think were okay.

So as I looked through this magazine (the one that is telling me that I have to be more organized); I see pictures of women who I guess are supposed to inspire me to get organized. I also notice that these women are rich and so they can afford to; spend time "organizing"...... I am sorry but I have a real life with a real family a real job and real problems. Getting organized is not at the top of my list. Ya know?.......So the woman is standing by her "specially" made closet and says: "Oh yes I hired a contractor to turn my bathroom into a closet". I thought me too! And I didn't even have to hire anyone! I hide a bunch of crap below the bathroom sink and in the linen closet...wait for it........I hide a bunch of stuff too not related to linen! ....I also use my towel racks to dry stuff on! Wow! I am part of the beautiful people and didn't even know it!............

Then the other women on the next page says: "I have to wear suits all the time (she is probably the one on the cell phone); so I color code them and put them in this closet. I then use the other closet ( inside my Victorian home) for all my sweaters"....... Me too! What are the odds?......I use every nook and cranny of my tiny apartment to stuff things in. So I guess I won. I was able to use up the most space. Ha!

As I turn the page I have to laugh out loud...... But before I tell you that I have to confess something, that's right; remember Confessions of Wise Latina? You knew what you were getting into to......... So I have this habit of talking to myself in the car, which wouldn't be so bad; but I do it out loud and answer myself as well. That's right. Remember what I said before about the people for whom mental help was not to far off. Yup. This is how I know! I am one of them......Wake up! Stay with me!........

In my car I have held meetings with President Obama, Carter; interviewed great witters, movie people you name it. Recently I interviewed Michael Moore. What's that? Yes it went very well; were having coffee next week...........So I mentioned I do this out loud right? I am like that that one channel that tells you to "live out loud"....... Except that I am not a movie star and no one gives a rat's behind about what I have to say/do in my car........ And oh yeah there no cameras filming my every move..... But really I used to be so involved talking to myself.......I mean interviewing famous people....That I would forget that others (by others I mean whom ever is outside of my car); can see me........ Since my car is not a limo, I don't have tinted windows. I must confess (you knew this was coming) sometimes I wish I did have tinted windows. You know when I am eating a huge piece of chocolate anything, have no make up on, my hair is dirty (really dirty) ......... Well you get the idea..............I am sure that's why celebrities have them too....Yes my fantasy life at work again............

So anyway thanks to the technical age and technical community at large; I can now talk to myself and it looks like I am talking on a speaker phone!.... Ha!.... Its so cool........ Don't tell anyone. This is one of the one of the few things that I love about technology....... I can lie better!..............

So I turn the page to see this guy (always a guy) sitting watching television (what an original photo); he is surrounded by water. Apparently his roof has collapsed and water is gushing down on him; but he still smiles...... Why? Because he knows his wife/girlfriend/significant other will pick up the mess; that's why. In every relationship there is someone who does the dumping and another who does the picking up. Always. Right?.........But I laughed not so much because of the "obvious" picture but because the ad was depicting someone who was happy; due to the fact that he had homeowners insurance ......This must be that stupid: "Happy Go-Lucky guy"......We found him! Yes!................


So what is my take on organizing? Just this: Start small and think of what really drives you crazy about your habits. Example:

Problem: Every morning your looking for the keys making you late for work.
Solution: Place keys where you can find them; when you get home.
Problem: You are late for work because you cant find what to wear.
Solution: Set your clothes out the day before.

You are laughing but to make real change happen; we must start with small steps (remember the "Journey of a Thousand Miles" thing?)........I am not sure who exactly walks/walked a thousand miles (I mean besides the folks in the Iron Man/Person thing). But I digress....... Change that we make slowly; stays with us forever. Just look at our legislators.......ooops......

The above mentioned "problem" scenarios are/were my husband and what he has learned (from me) in the past 15 years!.......That's right people this is how we do it......It takes over a decade but damn it we CAN change!

Until next time and more confessions! Take care!

WOMAN SCOUT

.and yesterday I was running my morning errands; well "running" is a bit dramatic here......But anyway, it was a cold rainy morning the kind that reminds you that winter is just around the corner; and about to bite you in the….Well you get the idea .......As I make my way down town (an I use the term "downtown” loosely) as I live in a small town; population 600 and 3 cats. "Downtown" consists of 2 blocks; but it is a very cute two blocks. I remember when my husband first brought me here. I fell in love with this little story book like town. It seems that every street is filled with huge trees and pretty little houses. My favorite time around here is Christmas. I love the way the lights glisten in the snow…..Okay, okay, enough of this cute stuff….This story is hard core!!!! Yeah!!!!!!! So I am driving along listening to an old Ricky Martin CD (oh yeah I am real hip). I am pausing for laughter………………Done?.........Okay……..so I see a very old and frail lady. This lady is walking (by walking I mean some movement can be detected); as she holds a pile of books toward her chest. I am thinking it’s raining, it’s cold; and this poor woman is walking through these streets alone. The horror! So having gone to a private catholic school and being the good Samaritan that I am; I have to stop and help. It is my belief that offering help; is the price you pay for guilt. Trust me. However not having belonged to any Girls Scout’s group; my methods are shall we say, a bit "unorthodox". I park and leave my car (still running); so that it blocks traffic down an alley. “Who would need to go down this alley? I say to myself. “It’s so small”. Yes folks this is my reasoning. Really. One can see why I am not in the running for city planner. Plus I say to myself: “the “traffic” around here during “rush” hour is about 8-9 cars on the road.... and I don’t think it’s even an hour”………Ahhhhh yes, the sweet sense of the senseless……. Actually I have to tell you this first: When my family and I first moved here (from the “big” city); we were shocked by all the silence. To learn that the place where we had moved to deliberately; shuts down at 9p.m. is a huge shock ! Oh yeah…….. 9p.m…………. Well I guess I should clarify (in case the town mayor is reading this); everything shuts down but the "Kwiky Mart". “Kwiky Mart” is the name we have given it. My son used to watch countless hours of “The Simpson”; and you can guess the rest. So as you can see my life is very glamorous. At any time of the day or night I can get a slushy, ice, pizza ..........And at a moments notice I can jet out to Duluth; and be back in time for dinner....Aaaaaaaaaaah the high life…..Don’t hate me because I am one of the beautiful people…….. So getting back to my story (and to earth). I get out of my car and in true “Good Samaritan” fashion I run behind this old lady and yell: “Excuse me do you need some help?” Now as a side note here: It is common knowledge that all old ladies are deaf; something about their ear drums shrinking”. It’s true I read this somewhere (Tales of the Crypt Monthly)…. I wait in anticipation for this sweet old lady to look into my eyes and thank me for my heroic deed. As she looks up at me with her gray eyes and sad little face, she says flatly: "No". ………And there you have it folks “Angels at work”!!!!!!!!!!!!.....This is how you do it people; so take note. As I excuse myself and turn around feeling as though I have been slapped across the face; I hear a distant chatter. It’s the little old lady; she is talking to me. Actually it seems as though she has been carrying on a conversation all along; but I digress. This is what I was able to detect: ……. “So I was one of the first women to set up a missionary home in Africa!". At least that is what I think she said? She also goes on to tell me that she was a teacher for 53 years! That she lived in Hawaii for a time and did all kinds of things to help others. So I ask her what kind of teacher she was and she says: "I am a sister"!......... What are the odds?....... As it turns out I stood outside talking to her(the little old lady) in the freezing cold; for what seemed like an eternity.........It reminded of a sitcom where I am trying to get out of a conversation but can't. So I kept waiting for a break, a pause, the taking in of breath, a cough…. something!!!........But nothing….nothing happened....... By this time it had stopped raining a bit; I considered it a sign to get while the getting was good! So I am thinking of a way to extricate myself from these proceedings; in a nice way so that I can still make my mom proud......... So I say:"Well I got to get going it was nice to meet you". She says: "Yeeeeees....anyway when I was in Chicago........I try again: "Okay then; I have to get going my car has been running all this time!". She says: "Oh my!"........"and anyway".........I try then to become part of the conversation; you know if you can’t beat them? So I say: "So Sister how was it th?...........She interrupts: "Listen! Listen! "So I was”................. I sigh to myself and think: “Well this is it”. This is the spot where I will have to pitch a tent; and live my remaining years…..Will my son come visit? Would I still be able to get “Meals on Wheels” without a real address (“What’s that?... Yeah I live in the corner of Washington Street and 5th….literally… Yes). What would my tombstone say I wondered? ……..”Here lies a good soul…….there is one born every minute” …... So far I am thinking; this good Samaritan stuff sucks!!!!!!.....So I try again: “Well"........and then I see it!........ My beacon of hope, my salvation!.... A grumpy bus driver has started to honk her horn at my car! As you may or may not know; honking at an empty car will make it move. It’s true I read it somewhere; so you know it’s true. “YES!” I shout to myself, “Thank the good Lord above for public transportation!”...........Who knew the way to end a conversation with a nun; was to annoy the hell out of a bus driver???............There is a mixed metaphor in there somewhere?............ Truth be told I did like to listen to the old ladies’ stories; she has lived much and helped many. I realized that she must have felt very lonely and needed to talk; so listening was the least I could do. I would do it again...... We don't take time anymore to really listen to others; I am guilty of this as well. Our society has become very “me” conscious….. And this always reminds me of the old joke: "So enough about me; "what do you think about me?”……. Till another tale! Take care!

HELP WANTED

Help wanted! I love those two words! To me they mean a mountain of possibilities. An adventure, if you will, into the unknown, a new chapter in my otherwise dull life......Where I will almost definitely, fall flat on my.......well.......you get the idea...........


So I am in search for work which as you know; is a job in itself. I am not sure who came up with that statement; but I am guessing it was someone...shall we say.......uummmm....stupid!?
If you think that looking for a job is a job in itself; let me clue you in on a couple of things. Now I know that one may or may not recall (depending on how long one has been unemployed) what a “job is. Let’s begin:
1) jobs usually by definition PAY you something. Now payments can come in many forms i.e. food, money, shelter you get the idea. However what a "job" does not do is NOT pay you. So while your out of work and looking for work....ummmmm...Yup; NO ONE is paying you...
2) Looking for a job is not like a job in that; if you don't show up for work no one fires you.
3) And this may go with number two as well: if no one cares that you have not showed up then the probabilities; are high that they wont care when you leave.... Yes; also a sign that this is NOT a job.

4) And finally…. and this should not even have to be said: If you have NO MONEY; that is a sign you don't have a job. And no, no amount of time you spend looking for a job; will ever make up for that fact.

I am sorry. I hate being right. Don't hate me because I am beautiful.........

I love all the “helpful tips" you get when looking for a job.....
"Don't look desperate"....Ummmmm but I am desperate?! How does one not look desperate? Let see………….

Interviewer: “So were looking to hire someone pretty much right away".
Me:” Oh..... That's nice. Good. Well....... give me a call if you want to. Or....... don't call. Either way. That's fine. Whatever you decide".
Yeah this employer will snatch you right up! NOT..........

I hate being right about this. I for one like someone who will beg (on command) if I ask them to. So as an interviewer/employer I am looking for that person; the desperate beggar. Think of about it. You as an employer continually have someone who is begging to: work late, come in early, run your errands, call your mom, walk your dogs and still begs you to do more.......Ummmm? yeah! Your hired!...........

I also hate it when people ask: are you a professional? A professional what? I asked someone this a long time ago and this is sort of how that conversation went.
" I think people as you if you’re a professional because they want to know if you went beyond high school".....(Okay intriguing)...Why? I ask her. She answers: "Well an employer wants to know if you will be someone "responsible" and are "committed" to something?...
(Aha?)....... "Well I have been committed to chocolate for the past....I don't know?........35 years? Is that what you mean? She answers: "Noooooo", she responds getting a bit irritated that I have cornered her into this “conversation”. "Well what do you mean?" I ask her. I love to make people squirm.........hee hee......
She says: "Well they (employer) want to know that you have been "educated"; beyond a high school education. You know." she adds, "That you followed a course of study". "Oh" I say flatly.


"So let me see if I got this right. In your world" I say, " I have to be "educated" from college and go beyond high school; in order to be thought of as a "responsible" person”.
I continue, "Hmmmmm?.....Interesting"........and then I bust out laughing! I couldn’t help it. Don’t hate me.
She just stares at me with this kind of: "What the hell are you laughing at" kind of eyes. So she asks me just that……
My response to her: "Well it’s funny!! Your premise on why/why not people get hired”. I continue, “It is also funny that our current politicians are the epitome of what is wrong with your version of the so called "educated" people”.
“What do you mean?”, she asks annoyed.
“Education” I tell her, “ is not a guarantee that people are going to be "responsible", that they are going to be "intellectual" or even trustworthy”.
I go on,” and as far as “committed” goes I think you need to define your terms”. “I can be committed”, I continue, “ to robbing you blind, I can be committed to making your life hell”…..
She interrupts getting angrier by the minute, “Were talking about people in the workplace”. To which I answer: “So Am I!”…..
I began my cross examination, "Money my dear is the source you fail to mention; by all accounts the source which makes all these things possible”. ”And”, I continue a la Perry Mason, “Money is what MAKES people appear to be “responsible”; NOT their education”.
“Listen”, I tell her feeling sorry that she is within ear shot of my wrath, “All people will never be reliable, responsible and all the other bologna that you have been taught since school age”. I continue, “ But at least money will make people predictable”.
“So the more money you make the more predictable you are? How do you mean? She asks.
To which I say, “Presumably the more money you have/make the more you need/think you need it. Hence the odds that you will show up for work will be greater” I continue, “It does not mean that in your place on the ladder; you will be responsible/ committed”. I continue, “ It simply means that you are most likely to show up”........”Remember ENRON?........Hmmmmmmmm?.......
In case your wondering me and this person are still friends. And yes she has come over to my side a bit. I am proud to say!

So anyway…… Here is a better definition and one that I can least live with:

This comes to us today from "walterncool" from Yahoo answers (okay so it's not exactly the library of Congress; but for today's purposes it will do).
And to make this a more meaningful read; place the words “we the people” where it reads “employer”.
"Being professional means fulfilling responsibilities and taking heat. Any employee, no matter what the job, has a contractual obligation to the employer to fulfill the requirements of his or her job description while giving the employer's interests high priority". "Beyond that, working professionally generally means holding to more formal standards of performance and ethics than you might in your personal life. Conform to professional and/or industry standards in doing your job. Do it skillfully and well. Don't pursue personal agendas at the company's expense. Work hard; play fair. Represent your employer, your fellow workers, and yourself with dignity. Give the client and employer more than their money's worth".

I like this answer. Clear and it makes my point. You work; you are a professional. The more power you have the more responsibility you owe. Just ask Spider Man.
Adios!