An Aha! Moment!

Okay I hate to use this term: "Aha moment". It sounds very commercialized/dorky to me."No se que?".......

In any event I had one of those moments this evening. By the way what is an "Aha! Moment?" It seems to me an aha! moment does not necessarily mean something good. I mean I guess that is what it's supposed symbolize?... "Aha! I found my slippers!", "Aha! I remember where I left my keys!" or "Aha! You cheating bastard I gotcha now!!!!"........See watta I mean?.........

Any who. I was talking to my husband (yes on occasion men and women can converse and these conversations don't often involve the t.v. remote).....More on this another time.....

So ya know how when someone tells you something that makes you think?.... "Well yeah!" "Duh!".......This is what happen to me tonight. I can admit it, I am a strong Latina. So here goes that story......

I was writing a new column and asked my husband (as he is my spelling Guru), how to spell something. Now, yes, I know what you are thinking. "Duh, use the spell check". Well hold on there!......... I did use the spell check only to find that their were like 15 different ways to spell this word. And, NO! I will not tell you the word I could not spell, for the life of me! It's too embarrassing.

Anyway as I was saying, before I so rudely interrupted myself: I asked my Guru hubby.

My Guru says to me (after answering my questions), "So like you speak Spanish right?".......Uhmmmmmmmmmm? "Yeah hon". "All my life". So he says, "Well I was thinking how come you don't translate your Blog into Spanish?", he continues, "I mean the whole "thing" is based on the fact that you are a Latina and can speak two languages right?"....."Uuuuuuum? Yeah hon". He says, "Weeeeeeeeell?........This would be a great way for Latinos and "those who speak Spanish" to read it as well!"

Hmmmmmmmmmm? Let's recap: "This would be a good way for Latinos AND "those" who speak "Spanish" to read it too"..........I am sorry, "honk", I need a judges ruling on this..... "Latinos and "those" who speak Spanish? Ya see how these pearls just fall on my lap? Watta am I to do? I can't not take a shot!

So in my Guru's world there are "Latinos" and "those" who speak Spanish? I think I need to re address/down grade him from that whole "Guru" thing......Definitely.......

Anyway back to my story........"BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!", I thought. "Why the hell did I not think of that?".....Duh!!!!!!!!!! (So this really became a "DUH" moment; not an aha! one). But that's how I am. That's how I roll people!

What is that saying? About being too close to the trees or the forest or something outside???? "If you get too close to a bush you can get a rash? I don't know......But it's true!!!!! If you are too close to nature you can't see a damn thing!!!....At lest that's what I think politicians say when they are hunting?.....I will leave that one to your imagination........

Speaking of nature. I had a friend who would go on vacation to her cabin. Now I must explain here before you get visions; of some gorgeous retreat in the mountains a la Hollywood style. This was not a "retreat" as in: "Oh I have to go there." This was maybe "retreat" as in: "I can't believe I came here deliberately?" Kinda thing. Okay?

One of the "special" things that her cabin lacked (of many); was that it had no running water or indoor plumbing. That's right people; this is living! Now follow me here it may get tricky........Since it had no "indoor" plumbing......Wait for it.... Yup......She had to use the out door plumbing "facilities". Yaah! She had to pee outside! I KNOW!!......

So I was like, "How the hell do you do that?", "I mean what if a thing goes up your butt or what ever?" She would laugh and answer me in a very calm instructional-tape-like- voice, "I am just too close to nature to see anything; all I feel is calmness all around me". To which I said, "Well yeah I can be calm too; but I can still feel when something bites my ass?"..........I digress.....

So anyway......... I will be translating my column (to the best of my ability) into to the Spanish language. Now I use the term "to the best of my ability" very "deliberately" here, as well as a "disclaimer"....... Don't like, count on the fact that the translating you see/read is correct. Ya know?....... Ask around....... Send me comments....... Correct me....... Whatever........ But by no means assume that I am a "translating queen".

Remember when you assume?.......You make an ass out of you and Uma Thurman.............